NOTICE: there will be SPOILERS in this post. MASSIVE, ENORMOUS SPOILERS. So if you aren’t current with GoT, DO NOT READ THIS.
Right before I took my June sabbatical, I wrote a post about My Complicated Relationship with George R.R. Martin. I haven’t gotten around to posting any book reviews for A SONG OF FIRE AND ICE, but I have been keeping up with the Sunday night episodes of the HBO series, which concluded (until next year *WAILS*) this past weekend.
It’s the first time I’ve had to suffer through a GoT finale in real-time. Before this season, I binged, finishing within days of premiere. Even so, I’m not going to try and pretend that this year’s is worse than last year’s.
*whispers* I’m pretty sure last year’s gets the Worst GoT Finale EVER award. Not only b/c it ended where the books left off (so even the readers didn’t have an idea of what was coming next), but Jon Snow dying is pretty much the WORST thing that could happen.
It didn’t matter that there was all kinds of speculation about how dead was he really?—death is somewhat fluid in GoT—GRRM has long since taught us that NO ONE is safe.
Just b/c Season 6 didn’t end with Jon bleeding-out-of-multiple-stab-wounds-in-the-Snow, doesn’t mean it wasn’t stressful . . . Lemme tell you, I am FULL OF STRESS.
I’m going to start a few episodes before the finale, b/c episode 5 held the most heart-breaking revelation/sacrifice of GoT thus far. I won’t pretend to understand all the ins and outs of what happened, how it was possible, but it just about killed me:
Then a few weeks later in episode 9, what had become my fondest wish FINALLY came to pass: the death of Ramsay.
Ramsay Bolton hadn’t made an appearance when I stopped reading the books (after #3), but when the show introduced him, he quickly became even more detestable to me than Cersei. He was such a hateful bastard (HA!) that he managed to temper my hatred of Theon Greyjoy, who up to that point had been a close second behind Cersei.
When his smug face retreated from the battlefield, Jon Snow in pursuit, I cautiously began to hope the end was near. And when Jon caught arrow after arrow with a scavenged shield before knocking Ramsay to the ground, I was shouting “YASSSSSSS!” as loudly as I’d been shouting “NOOOOOOOOO!” when Hodor held the door.
But Jon is Jon, so he knew Ramsay’s life wasn’t his to take, and you know what happened next:
Which brings us to this past weekend’s episode . . . ye gods . . . both old and new . . .
1. The Trial.
Loras and Cersei’s trial has been looming for most of the season. Drawing ever closer, the sense of foreboding gained a tangible presence as the Sparrow outmaneuvered the Lannisters and Tyrells over and over and over again.
And let’s be real, guys—after a plot thread arrives at Threat Level: DOOM, any random children who begin to show up are automatically granted Creepy Horror Movie Kid status. SO. It wasn’t a huge surprise when the horde of children turned on Pycelle, stabbing him to death. *throws confetti in the air* B/c PERVERT.
Having witnessed Pycelle’s demise, it wasn’t a shock when the child leading Lancel further and further into the catacombs stabbed him in the side.
Then I saw the green oozy stuff . . .
Now I’m going to gloat, b/c I totally called it. Not that Cersei was going to blow everyone to HELL, but that Margaery, Loras, and Tommen would be among the dead:
I gotta hand it to Cersei . . . I still don’t like her, I will NEVER like her, but . . . she’s pretty badass.
***(Amended)***2. Tommen calls it quits.
3. Samwell arrives to wherever it was he went.
Not really a key event, or at least it doesn’t appear to be on the surface, but it gets included b/c LOVE Samwell (and Gilly and Sam Jr.), and b/c LIBRARY PORN.
4. Melisandre gets banished from the North.
#dontletthedoorhityouonthewayout #thatswhathappenswhenyouburnchildrenatthestake #teamdavos
5. Tyrell aligns with Dorne . . . Who is aligned with Danaerys.
This is concerning. Not b/c of Lady Tyrell, she’s fantabulous, but Obara Sand is CRAZY, and you can’t trust CRAZY people.
6. Arya kills Walder Frey, using abilities granted by the Many-Faced God.
This is also concerning, b/c A. Arya is kind of scary these days. Where Sansa’s smirk was vindicating (b/c no longer a empty-headed broodmare), Arya’s escalation was unnecessary. She already had substance. Now she’s borderline psychotic. And B. how is she able to make use of the Many-Faced God’s gifts, when she doesn’t conform to his ideology?
SIDENOTE: her showdown with the Waif was a ripoff.
7. Benjen Stark leaves Bran and Meera at the Wall (b/c can’t pass it himself, b/c DEAD).
Again, I’m concerned. Obviously, the wall, or at least its magic, is going to fall. Eventually. Does that mean Bran will eventually have to rebuild it?
8. The TRUTH about Jon Snow’s parents is revealed. A SONG OF FIRE AND ICE, INDEED.
In case you’ve been living under a rock, this is the aforementioned speculation (and why many fans correctly didn’t believe that Jon would stay dead):
9. Lyanna Mormont shames the Northern lords into declaring Jon Snow KING IN THE NORTH.
B/c AWESOME. Sansa appears to be on board. Littlefinger is not. #lyannamormontforpresident
10. Jaime returns to King’s Landing just in time to see Cersei crowned queen on the Iron Throne.
I wish I could remember more of that foretelling Cersei received as a girl . . . Did it say anything about her death quickly following the deaths of her children? Hmm . . . Regardless, Queen Cersei’s days are almost certainly numbered.
11. Danaerys (FINALLY) sails towards Westeros.
Known allies: the Unsullied, Dothraki, Yara and Theon Greyjoy, Tyrion Lannister, Lord Varys, House Tyrell, and Dorne.
1. Grand Maester Pycelle
2. Lancel Lannister
3. High Sparrow
4. Margaery Tyrell
5. Loras Tyrell
6. Mace Tyrell
7. Kevan Lannister
8. Tommen Lannister
9. Walder Frey
10 & 11. Lothar Frey and Black Walder
Despite the high death count, I was only sad about loosing Margaery. I may have felt a twinge for Loras, but at that point, he’d established himself firmly in the Beta camp, and he was too weak to ever be useful. Margaery, on the other hand, is both smart and in possession of spine made of
IRON steel, and I will miss her. BUT. As ever, it’s GRRM’s prerogative to kill those we love. The salt in this wound is that she saw it coming but couldn’t save herself.
As for everyone else, GOOD RIDDANCE. Especially Tommen. #sorrynotsorry
What about you guys? Did you love season 6? Hate it? Have any theories about what comes next? Will Jon and Danaerys embrace each other as family or become mortal enemies? Will Jaime finally turn away from Cersei? Is there hope for him and Brienne? What does being the Three-Eyed Raven entail? WHY DID DANY LEAVE DAARIO BEHIND?!
And now the waiting . . . *kicks aluminum can*
Well, I had been trying to avoid spoilers and not watching the show cause I wanted to binge watch it in preparation for book 6 but since it seems like it’ll never happen… I had decided to binge watch season 6 but I have been spoiled for many many things on Twitter… sooooo… now I’m embracing the spoilers everywhere and preparing for binge watching season 2 to 6 over the summer!!
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Spoilers suck. :/
If you’re anything like me, you’ll forget half of them while bingeing, b/c ALL THE THINGS.
GRRM is nothing if not a masterful storyteller. 😉
Not read nor watched this show as it’s not really my thing but I can’t handle the death count! I can’t get invested in someone to have the author kill them off. It totally ticks me off…lol. I think I would be throwing things at my TV if I tried watching it. 🙂
When you binge, you kinda get numb to it, LOL. And I’d read the first three books, so I knew a lot of what was coming.
I have only seen season 1. I will binge watch the whole thing right before the last season but I love spoilers so I read everything. Helps me prep LOL. I think I will be sad about Marg too. Mostly because she seems to have had a spine from beginning to end.
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She really did. Dollface was a manipulater, but you had to respect her. And she didn’t NEED to die. You can hope that various threats to the crown will survive, but when they don’t, you’re not terribly surprised.
I have sad. 🙁
Anyway, enjoy your eventual binge!
Loved most of this post but… did you just say ‘2. Tommen proves himself to be the pansy we’ve known he was.’ and then show a gif of his suicide…? Because that’s not cool. :/
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You are correct, and I apologize. I would have never said that in a real life situation, so I shouldn’t have said it in reference to a fictional character either.
I feel terrible about it. Truly.
No probs, we all make mistakes – thanks for having the awesomeness to change it and be so gracious! 🙂 (Y)
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It was freakin amazing.
FYI – Cersei’s prophecy:
Cersei: When will I wed the prince?
Maggy: Never. You will wed the king.
Cersei: I will be queen, though?
Maggy: Aye. Queen you shall be… until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear.
Cersei: Will the king and I have children?
Maggy: Oh, aye. Six-and-ten for him, and three for you. Gold shall be their crowns and gold their shrouds, she said. And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you.
YAS! YAS, YAS, YAASSS!!
I should’ve known I could count on you, Eon! And yes, it was.
I was a bit worried, b/c I remembered thinking a couple of times during my binge that episode 9 eclipsed the finale. So after Ramsay FINALLY got his due, AND Yara and Danaerys had such an epic meeting, I was afraid this would be one of those times.
Oh, and “Valonqar” means “little brother” in Valyrian. 😀
*fist pumps* *moonwalks* *booty shakes*
PS – HOW do you know these things??
Lol. I had the same reactions. Research, hours and hours of research 😉
Nice recap. I loved the Kings Landing sequence- they kept upping the dread factor with the music and the shots of them getting ready. And yeah about Arya- I think we’re MEANT to be concerned for her, because how far will she go? And can she come back? One of the more fascinating stories within the story.
What a shot of the dragons! And that Pycelle one- ugh lol. I think the Daario thing will play out different in the book since he’s a nastier piece of work there- although he may not survive. The situation at the end of book 5 has me wondering given that they wrote him out of the show. And I think they fumbled the Jon / Sansa thing a bit. Technically SHE’s the heir before Jon even though I know why they’re going w/ King in the North- just not sure that works.
I’ll miss Margaery too!
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Sam is at the Citadel, the place where Maesters train! And as my hubs pointed out, if you’re paying attention the sculptures hanging from the ceiling are the things from the opening titles.
I think Sam is going to be VERY important in times to come. He’s basically at the biggest library in their world. Where information on Dragons, White Walkers, and specifically Heraldry are… I think he’s going to pick up where Ned left off and discover the truth about Jon. But possibly also be very important in finding the info needed to destroy the Night King. Because come on… it’s GRRM, he’s going to make the book lover character important! lol
I did watch it, have I watched the ones before? God no. I tried in the beginning, but after 1 hour of smex and boobs I gave up. Oh and peens! Might have lessened over the time since there were none here. SO I was all, ok now I can start watching. Looks like a war is coming and I came right in time. Not like I missed anything either. I did try 2? books, and gave up. I really suck at this series don’t I?
I was surprised about margery though, did not expect that.
I don’t get to see these until HBO has free weekends and the binge the show. 🙂 I would see one episode without the rest and I have to admit doing that I would grow bored easily. So, binging is best for me. I didn’t shy away from your spoilers since I don’t watch it much, but I did see the explosion. Um… Wow! LOL
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So I haven’t actually read any of the books. But I enjoy the show and this is my second time having to endure the wait after a season finale. Sucks. I’m with you on so many points. Especially on only being really sorry about Margery. I knew this was her last season, I’ve felt if for a while, but it still sucks to be right. I absolutely love Lyanna Mormont. Talk about one fierce little lady! I’m excited about Sensa and worried about Arya (though I’m still excited in a doomsday kind of way). I’m surprised we still have 2 seasons left – I feel like we’re getting so close! Next season is probably going to be fairly great 🙂