 Title: On the Prowl
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If I had a time machine, there would be several things I would do with it. High on my list would be helping my roommate explain the nature of time travel in such a way as it does not interfere with his narratives. At number forty nine on the list would be uploading this review sooner so as to save whatever woman or man put this book on request while I still had it checked out. Avoid this book. The vanilla villains, vanilla main characters, vanilla side characters, vanilla world, vanilla whodunit hackney cart, and too-long-for-its-own-vanilla plot make the only thing barbed about this read a certain bit of tiger male anatomy. And you know I was so excited about were-tigers! They are only big cats after all. You may be thinking all this mention of vanilla makes me crave the taste of vanilla or how great vanilla wallpaper can look in comparison to white wallpaper. When vanilla is in such excess as this, however, it burns. IT BURNS! Whoever built the house of this book spent too long making sure the carpet was pristinely white, cleaning the carpet until their hands were raw, rather than developing its facade, chimney interior, or plumbing. Why would you eradicate the dirtiness of the carpet? That was where its character was! All the cat spit-up and tiger droppings are gone and what do you have to answer for it? This book introduces our protagonists in the most bland of scenarios, an arranged marriage, and I’ll admit in concept it sounds promising. One could have colorful family guests like lecherous Uncle Bob or cantankerous grandmomma Wimmy and they could be arguing over who stole a purse or who split the champagne on Aunt Rosa’s dress that she spent three years sprucing up for this special event and Uncle Bob could be getting an eyeful as Wimmy rants to him about his clear drinking and woman problems… But the plot introduces an additional convenience by having both families fresh off a flight from Europe, which could also upon reflection be colorful with jet-lag, awkward meetings, or lost luggage… Our main characters are just two bland individuals who met once when they were children where it was already rumored they would be married. This childhood meeting is not provided with more than a paragraph of dialogue. I know once again it is a dynamic scene. But back to their blandness. How are they bland you might ask. Both are inheriting gobs of wealth, which could be interesting if they had some specific goal in mind like fighting crime, avenging parents, disappearing from the world, or traveling but the Missus just feels unsteady about the marriage even as she follows her father’s orders and the Mister is pioneering his father’s company. So you see a lot of this depends, as much of Western Literature does, on how flavorful the fathers are. I’ll admit I don’t remember their names or their descriptions, just two moneyed ciphers who didn’t even think it was best for the tribe to bring these two together. They have been ordered by the tribe to do so, which, on reflection, could have depth. They may be fighting world tiger hunger or crafting the perfect tiger heir, one tiger heir to rule them all…Not a chance. The sex is, at least, acceptable. A book of were-tiger sex scenes would have been a lot better.
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| Recommendation: | Stay away |
| Like this, like that: | In good faith I cannot compare this book to anything. Books like this should not be written. The best comparison then is no-book by no one, a no-seller nowhere. |
About the Blogger
I review Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance books with a focus all things werewolf. Based out of Ottawa, Canada
brrr, after that chilly review I think I will pass this one by!