When the closing credits began to roll on STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI, I sat there, a slight frown on my face, neither pleased nor displeased . . . Just kind of meh. Glancing over at BFF, I saw that she was similarly meh, as were her parents, and well, everyone in our party (excepting my husband, but he frequently claims to like or dislike things based on the reactions of others, b/c he thinks driving us nuts is the height of comedy, so who can tell what he really thought?).
Four days later, I’m less meh and more disappointed and confused. Confused b/c TLJ had some truly epic moments, and disappointed b/c those epic moments weren’t enough to mitigate the damage from what I consider to be really awful plot twists.
SPOILERS after this point. You have been warned.
Chuck Wendig’s post about TLJ tempered a lot of my animosity, but there are still a handful of incidents that make my eye twitch when I dwell on them:
1. Poe Dameron, mutineer.
For me, this goes beyond simple discomfort at the rogue pilot not saving the day with his anti-authoritarian antics a la Han Solo. He MUTINIED. Even Vice-Admiral what’s-her-face asks him if he realizes what he’s doing, b/c friends, mutiny is TREASON. Mutiny is a crime warranting execution as punishment.
Unless you’re Poe Dameron, that is. If you’re Poe Dameron, when you mutiny, all you get is stunned by a blaster, while the woman in charge smile indulgently at your inert form. Oh, that Poe Dameron . . . He’s got spunk. I like him.
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?
2. Luke Skywalker, Jedi padawan killer.
Okay, seriously . . . In what alternate galaxy is it okay that Luke-effing-Skywalker, even for a moment, contemplated murdering his nephew? Hmm??
Even though I knew what was coming the second Kylo Ren asked Rey if Luke had told her what happened that night, I still cannot believe they went there. B/c LUKE-EFFING-SKYWALKER.
1. Leia’s bizarre resurrection.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m glad she’s not really dead—BUT . . . How exactly is it that she’s not really dead?
2. Justin Theroux’s cameo.
That was just mean. #ilovejustintheroux
3. Snoke, the not-so-supreme ruler of the galaxy.
As far as Snoke himself goes, that’s the only word required to summarize my feelings about his untimely end.
The throne room is where the roots of my proverbial disappointment tree have burrowed. I mean, really? Was I the only one waiting for those faceless red-armored guards to break into synchronized song and dance? B/c the whole thing felt very OKLAHOMA dream sequence to me.
4. Kylo Ren as Mr. Darcy.
Your parents were junk traders who sold you for drinking money. You’re nothing . . . But not to me.
So not what I had in mind for Reylo . . . *heavy sigh*
BUT. I repeat, there were epic moments as well. Like when Vice-Admiral what’s-her-face jumped to lightspeed through an enemy destroyer. Opening the movie with what was essentially a your mom joke was pretty great too. Point of fact, I probably laughed more in TLJ than I have in all the previous STAR WARS movies combined.
So there’s that.
But all the laughter in the world doesn’t change the fact that the entire rebellion is now contained within the Millennium Falcon. Or that Supreme Ruler Kylo Ren has a stable of force sensitive Knights of Ren (if I’m right about the order being the padawans he escaped with when his uncle tried to kill him), while the rebellion just has Rey. *bites fingernails*
VERDICT: A deeply flawed addition to the STAR WARS saga, but who cares? B/c STAR WARS. *shrugs awkwardly*