I just finished an epic Hulu binge of Smallville, and rather than trying to review TEN seasons of (mediocre #sorrynotsorry) TV, I’ve decided to attack the massive time-suck-that-was by addressing a revelation I had about halfway through it: Smallville is Dullsville.
In hindsight it seems obvious, but ever since some nameless, faceless sociology professor gave a lecture on the I-knew-it-all-along syndrome, I’ve been given free rein to indulge these kinds of self-discoveries.
Basically, after pre-Superman had saved the day yet again, had yet another heart-to-heart with his dad-the-hardworking-farmer, was once more dejected in the aftermath of being slipped some red kryptonite (etc.), I thought to myself, YE GODS, how did Superman become so popular? B/c I. Am. SO. Bored.
Then I started inspecting the inexplicable fascination with Batman that I’ve been nurturing since I was child.
Inexplicable b/c I wasn’t cool enough to read comic books and the early Batman movies were pretty dumb.
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t perk up at the mention of . . .
1. Not only is Bruce Wayne an orphan, but he actually witnessed the death of his parents (if I see one more variation of that pearl necklace being pulled from his mother’s throat, I might roll my eyes completely out of my head).
2. (Other) Early childhood trauma(s) left him with perfect nightmare and/or brooding fodder. I mean, come one . . . deep, dank hole . . . BATS . . . *shudders*
3. Poor Little Rich Boy.
4. His decision to cleanup the streets of Gotham is personal and can sometimes walk a fine line with a vendetta.
5. Bat CAVE would make a better lair for a villain, which only adds to the mystery.
6. Everyday disguise is billionaire playboy.
1. Has not one, but two sets of loving parents.
2. Had an idyllic childhood being taught the value of hard work, honesty, fairness, blah blah, with-great-power-comes-great-responsibility, something, B-O-R-E-D.
3. Lower middle class, meh.
4. His decision to help others is as squeaky clean and selfless as everything else about him.
5. Fortress of Solitude is actually pretty cool, so he’s got that going for him.
6. Everyday disguise is a pair of glasses. *is incredulous*
SO. While there are people who are drawn to the corn-fed good ol’ boys, I don’t get it. Not even a little bit. If that makes me typical, so be it. There are plenty of topics in which I can firmly categorize my views as being firmly black-and-white, but when it comes to individuals, I prefer a little grey.
What about you? Do you like your heroes a little dark and complicated? Or do you love the Clark Kents of the world?