Fiction Police: New Covers from Paula Brackston, Victoria Schwab, Catherynne M. Valente and more!

Posted April 22, 2015 by Jessica in Fiction Police, Jessica / 18 Comments

Fiction Police

YES. It has only been a few days since my last post, but I find the covers when I find the covers. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

~The Good~

That which I found to be awesome:

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At a glance this might not be the prettiest cover. BUT. If you haven’t read A DARKER SHADE OF MAGIC, then I know something you don’t know: that coat . . . it’s a magic coat. It’s kind of like Hagrid’s, with limitless pockets for limitless things, but this one is even better, b/c you can turn it inside out 6 or 8 (or more) times, getting a physically different coat each time. ALSO, those lines on the (some of them creepily long) arms? Yeah, they’re a map of Red London. Probably. Could be Grey London, I suppose, or White London, but probably not Black London . . . Intrigued? Hmm??


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I love ships. AND there’s a skull in those clouds.


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Creepily fantastic. This girl doesn’t appear to be falling, but her dress is definitely billowing (which I love), and the whole is greater than its parts: the font, the black and white, the gothic and foreboding house . . . I would NEVER willingly walk into that place. *shakes head emphatically NO*


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It’s pretty; I like it.


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LOVE this one. I love that Chickypoo is evidently somewhere with a breathable atmosphere, I love that this place has giant crystal formations, and I love how if you look closely at the surface of whatever it is that’s directly behind Chickypoo, there are two shadowy man-shapes coming toward her. Friend or foe? Guess I’ll have to read it to find out. WELL DONE.


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~The Meh~

That which I found to be mediocre:

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Eh. A lance shattering on a shield b/c tournament. Whoopty-frickin’-doo.


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You know what this says to me? It says: I NEED you to shut up. That’s what it says. B/c mouths. Covered by NEED.


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Another creepy one, but not fantastic. Mostly b/c the topmost balls of orange are perfectly placed to be moons . . . but then there are the rest of them . . . I don’t get it.


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I didn’t put this one into the “MEH” section until I sat here staring at it with absolutely nothing to say beyond, “colors,” and “constellations.” ALSO, I happen to have been born under the alleged 13th sign, so I take umbrage to someone telling the general population to “beware.”


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Lighting a candle under water? OH. I see. PARADOX. Clever. *rolls eyes*


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~The Ugly~

That which I found to be hideous and/or silly:

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My grandfather took a shine to bolo ties after spending some time out West when my mom was a teenager . . . I’m pretty sure he had one that looked just like that minus the steampunk skull. I loved my grandfather. I did not love his ties.


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This cover is the reason why women everywhere rejoiced at the advent of e-readers. And is that a firework going off behind them, or is that supposed to be the sun? A sun softened by the glow of true love, maybe? STAHP.


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I get it. Prohibition. Art Deco. The idea is cool, but this . . . this is ugly . . . and suggestive (if you don’t see it, I’m not saying it out loud). Also, there is a GIANT bird behind Dollface’s head. WEIRD things are happening in that room.


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Not only is this one’s title baffling, but Y U POINT GUN AT KITTEH?! Also, I have no idea why, but it’s reminding me of Quentin Tarantino. Maybe b/c I hate Quentin Tarantino . . . hmm . . .


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I think he’s got on an awful lot of clothes for being underwater. And kissing. Kissing under water . . . while fully clothed . . . when the other person is clearly sans clothing . . . That. Is. SO. Sexy . . .

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Sometimes . . . when I have no idea what’s happening on a book cover, I use the blurb as a frame of reference. This time I discovered that a dysfunctional family gets snowed in in some nightmare town (b/c travelers stuck in sinister locales hasn’t gotten tired yet), where “the laws of the universe are bent.” Like snowing indoors? B/c I don’t know about you, but I don’t care what kind of weather was going on, if I walked into a creepy old hotel and it was snowing—inside—I’d turn right back around and walk out. OH. It’s supposed to be . . . metaphorical? B/c snowed in? And stuck at hotel? Ooohhh . . . I see what you did there . . . *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*


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And that is all. I hope you guys are having an awesome week!

Jessica Signature

My name is Jessica and I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I’m trying my hand at writing, but mostly I read. My favorite genres are Fantasy, Paranormal Romance, Science Fiction, Urban Fantasy, and the YA versions of those genres, but if there is a book of a different color getting lots of buzz, I’ll read it too, just to be informed. If I’m not reading or writing, I’m probably on Goodreads or Pinterest or baking blueberry pies because I love them.

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18 responses to “Fiction Police: New Covers from Paula Brackston, Victoria Schwab, Catherynne M. Valente and more!

  1. Mogsy from BiblioSanctum  

    Paradox has been on my list for a while, though I can’t really comment on the cover except to say “at least it’s not as boring as the first book’s.” And First Time With A Highlander? That’s no sun. That’s a nebulous shining wormhole opening up into another universe…a universe where I still won’t be reading that book. It just screams “not my thing.” Added a couple others that looked interesting to my TBR though.
    Mogsy recently posted…Waiting on Wednesday 04/22/15

  2. Oh my God Jessica, you crack me up. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    On a more serious note, how is A Gathering of Shadows not the prettiest cover? It’s so gorgeous and I loooooove it. I haven’t read ADSOM yet though, and I have to remedy that ASAP.

    I totally didn’t notice the skull cloud in Never Never. :O But I like it.

    I would definitely love the new Rooms cover without the creepy flying balls.

    I’m not a fan of the Wandering Star cover either. ๐Ÿ™ Zodiac was a lot prettier.
    Aimee recently posted…Waiting On Wednesday #10: The Anatomical Shape of a Heart

    • Well, I think it’s pretty, but a lot of people want more flash, more shiny, more . . . I don’t know, pink? And ADSOM is amazeballs. I hope you LOVE it.

      *snorts* “flying ball.”

      Zodiac was prettier, but I don’t know if I even want to read these books now that I know that cast aspersions on anyone born 11/29 – 12/17. *points to self*