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Question: Have You Started Looking At Things Differently Since Reading Romance?


I’ve always had a dirty mind, it’s kind of what Quebecers are known for… poutine, sex and hockey. LOL Reading romance has probably brought it out more, but I think the foundation was already there. I suspect that the genre has done more for my pervy vocabulary than anything else. Before romance I had no idea what MMM (male male male), BYOT (bring your own toys) or TPE (total power exchange) was. I also didn’t know that so many words existed in the English language that can be used to describe man and lady bits.

Every so often I’ll giggle when I come across something in real life that reminds me of a sexy scene I read recently in a book—whether it be chocolate cake (Werewolf in Last Vegas by Vicki Lewis Thompson) or seaweed (Tempest Rising by Nicole Peeler). Now, I don’t consume A LOT of erotica, and paranormal romance is pretty tame in comparison, so I’m positive that there are plenty of readers out there who have a leg-up on me in this (*cough* Jennifer from The Book Nympho). I guess I can’t take 100% credit for my one-track mind because reading romance most certainly has made it worse, or better? It all depends on how you look at it!

Have You Started Looking At Things Differently Since Reading Romance?

Carmel Signature

Owner, designer and main blogger behind Rabid Reads. Avid book reader, snowboard bunny, video gamer and Supernatural fan. I love all things paranormal, werewolves especially. Oh, and I’m Canadian, eh!

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  1. Heh. My vocabulary has definitely expanded since I’ve started reading romance as well Carmel! I don’t know that I see things differently necessarily, but I do recognize just how unrealistic so many of the relationships in romances are, even the contemporary romances that are werewolf and vampire free. For me though, it’s part of the fun. I don’t honestly expect my husband to go all alpha on me and get growly and possessive (in fact, I might laugh if he did), but I sure do love to read about men like that:)

    • Reading romance certainly has a way of putting real life love into perspective. LOL

  2. I do read erotica but I do love a good steamy romance and while I wouldn’t say I look at everything different, because I have always been a hopeless romantic, I do see things and what people say differently. I had no idea I could be quite the pervert when so inclined to be. 😉

    • Most people are secretly thinking the same thing you are, so don’t feel too bad. Hehe

  3. Well I would say that my mind doesn’t always go in the gutter, but certain books do bring to some smexy scenes at times. I think that I try and bring the romance from the books into my boring life and spice things up with DH 🙂 But I also notice that while the guy in book might be a stalker ..I don’t want that in real life

    • Yeah, bad boys are fine and dandy in fiction, but in RL you want to marry the good guy. Am I right?

  4. My mind needed NO help in this dept. I’ve had a dirty mind since junior high! I have tons of terms in my head that I’ve yet to read in romance novel. Mmm… Maybe I should take this topic and dirty it up for you guys in a special post of my own. LOL

    • This is why I mentioned you in my post. LOL Every so often I’ll tune-in to one of your Twitter conversations and think to myself “where does she even come up with this stuff??”

  5. Lol Carmel! I THOUGHT romance had expanded my vocabulary but I wasn’t familiar with any of those abbreviations you just listed. Guess I need to do a lot more reading 😉

  6. I’ve definitely learned a lot. But I’ve found that not all of it translates well into real-world action…either that or I’m doing it wrong LOL!

    • Haha Yes, romance books should come with a warning: “do not try this at home!”

  7. Ok I completely admit I didn’t know ANY of those terms! lol. I’ve read a rather limited amount of erotica and or heavily romantic books. Don’t tell but I went through a very short lived cowboy romance binge reading session one time years ago. But I could well imagine reading some of that would be eye popping and fun indeed!

    • There’s nothing wrong with cowboy romance binge reading; we’ve all done it. 😉

      • O reeeeally!? hehe I’m glad it was just a month. I have recently had one heck of a fun time with some sci-fi romance! The Ophelia Prophecy and that Fortune’s Pawn (though this one wasn’t really what I consider “romance” – while Ophelia was)

  8. hahaha…well yes Carmel my knowledge base has certainly grown and my google search would make me blush if someone saw it..but I am learning the terms, While I an not ready for M/M let alone M/F/M I have explored some dom/sub and BDSM.

    • Oooh geez, don’t even get my started on my browser history. THE SHAME! hehe I’ve only read one M/M book so far, but I can definitely see more of ’em in my future. They are not what I expected at all.

  9. Without getting too personal and dishing TMI, yes, reading romance AND erotica has changed a LOT of things for me. I’m still vanilla but you can’t un-know things… what a naughty question! LOL

    • Although, sometimes, there are certain things that I wish I could un-read. LOL

  10. Haha I don’t read romance as much as you but I have a dirty mind so yeah! >.< I didn't know what those acronyms meant until now! I have been reading more and more romances though especially since the NA and erotica surge.

    • Always happy to add to other peeps’ dirty vocabulary. Hehe 😉

  11. I don’t read erotica, I can’t handle all the sex, it makes me feel like a dirty peeping tom. Yes, I do certainly look at things differently these days though after reading plenty of romance.

    • I don’t read a lot of erotica, but it’s good to switch things up from time to time to avoid reading slumps. I can understand why it’s not for everyone though.

  12. I don’t think I’ve ever needed much help in that department but reading erotic romance has definitely broaden my dirty mind horizons…LOL One of the reasons I bought an ereader was so that I’d stop getting weird looks from my book covers while commuting, I didn’t really care what they thought but it’s annoying after a while…now I can read all the smut I want wherever I am! 🙂

    • Oh yes, thank GOD for eReaders. Mine has saved me from many awkward explanations. LOL

  13. I don’t really read much erotica, but I always assume that kind of smex is unattainable (but then most of what I read has a paranormal element to it… so makes sense… LOL). I do enjoy reading about alpha males, but IRL, they would be SO irritating. 🙂

    • Superpowers are nice and all, but yeah, not very realistic. And, I hear ya about RL alpha males—they are so NOT sexy.

  14. This question doesn’t really work for me so much because I’m not a big romance reader. I tend to prefer UF over over PNR and don’t ready any erotica. But I still know what you mean, there are some things that I just I can’t believe I even know.

  15. LOL….I learned some new terms just reading your post. I don’t read erotica and tend to like the romances I read to leave some things to the imagination. I will read a scene where the couple just wakes up and gets down to business and I am thinking “hello”…I need to know what kind of toothpaste they use because in real life morning breath is not so sexy. Obviously, I need to work on being more romantic. 🙂

    • You raise a good point with morning breath. LOL It kinda kills the mood when you have to get up, brush your teeth, and pee first.

  16. Reading in general has tapped into my overall creativity at work. Crazy, right? Who knew that reading so much would help me in that particular way and I think my vocabulary has gotten better too!!! I do read a lot of romance and you would think it would help me in my dating life but that hasn’t necessarily happened! LOL! 😉

  17. So, back in the olden days, covers were even more suggestive in a way. I ended up buying a paperback book cover for most of the historicals I read. Now, I don’t bat an eye at most of the covers except to appreciate the physique of the guy model.
    If the book is overloaded with sex scenes, I skim it. In my younger days I would have read it very slowly.
    If you’re having an unbelievably bad day, a good romance is a great way to change it around.

    • I’m not a big fat of lots of sex scenes; I prefer quality over quantity. I once read this book where the couple stopped mid-sprint to the final showdown to get it on. It totally killed that action sequence.

  18. I knew I liked Quebec for a reason!!! 😉 err, but I’m with you on the variation of descriptions of man & lady’s bits. Fun post!

    • Strippers and booze, that’s Quebec for you. LOL

  19. Okay….I have a confession to make. When I first started becoming an avid reader of YA, I dreaded every book that had a romance. I swear…I probably took away stars just because a book had a romance! (That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the gist!) Now, I’ve actually grown to like romance. I still don’t love it, but I guess I’m more accepting of it now.

    Thanks for sharing Carmel, and, as always, brilliant post! 😀

    • I don’t especially like romance in YA; it’s too PG for me. I either want full nudity or none at all.

  20. I’ll be honest. I haven’t read anything that shocks me or made me look at things all that differently. I’ve been … adventurous in my real life and I like porn, so what I read in romance or erotica is just an extension of that. I have read some things that gave me ideas though. lol – maybe I shouldn’t be posting this.

    • Haha it’s all in good fun. Nothing shocks you, eh? Hmmm… interesting. 😀

  21. I don’t know if I look at things differently, but when I’m in the middle of an adult/erotica/romance period like I am right now, I definitely think about them a lot more! Sex and poutine aren’t bad things to be known for, btw. 😉

    Wendy @ The Midnight Garden

    • I’m just dumbfounded that you actually KNOW what poutine is!

  22. Haha, not really, but there have been occasions. I don’t really like very wild dirty talk and I don’t really read erotica, but some NA books (and adult ones obviously) have quite explicit sexy scenes. Ha! I wonder what happened with that chocolate cake and seaweed 😀 (seaweed–eww 😀 I was wrong, I actually don’t want to know about that one lol). It’s an interesting perspective on things and I hadn’t thought about it like that, but nope, nothing of sorts for me:) However, I do know more of the terms and words now–before I had no idea how many words you could actually describe woman’s or a man’s body parts so we’re on the same page when it comes to this 😀

    • Sometimes I wish authors would quit using such fancy words, and call ’em like they see ’em because some of their terms are seriously ridiculous and can kill a good sex scene.

  23. Oh yeah, I have learned so much by reading romance and erotica. These books were pretty much my sex education. 😀 And it’s fun to keep a list of things I want to try. I know, so naughty!

    • You keep a list? I’d be too afraid of someone finding it. LOL

  24. I was obsessed even before I started reading erotica, but now…:DDD My boyfriend says that he knows exactly when I’m reading one of my “dirty books”.

    • There’s nothing wrong with that! Might as well take advantage of the “mood” when it strikes, right?

  25. I’ll snort or giggle at inappropriate things at inappropriate times because my mind tends to take a dive into the gutter. I usually just have to wave it off — I’m sure people think I’m a nutter.

    • Haha I know what you mean. I often have to stop myself from saying something out loud cuz I’m afraid that I’m the only one who’s mind is in the gutter.

  26. My husband will tell you that I look at things differently since reading romance. In fact, he will go out and tell his family and friends, he loves the fact I read romance. LOL

    I’m just like you, I’ve learned so many new terms to describe lady parts and man bits. Some of them are bit awkward. LOL

    • My guy always knows when I’m reading an especially naughty book because he gets random horny texts from me while he’s at work.

  27. Haha! I think my lady/man part vocabulary has grown, too! Some of the words are cringe-worthy though, so I wouldn’t ever use them! But others are really great – I just wish I could think of one or two right now 😀

    My mind has pretty much been in the gutter since I knew there was a gutter for it to be in, though, so I don’t think romance has changed me that way 😀 Great topic, Carmel.

  28. Wow, what a totally interesting topic lol! I actually don’t read that much erotic romance, but I guess it does open my mind to strange things o_o especially paranormal romance scenes.

  29. This is an awesome topic! I’ve always had a somewhat dirty mind too and have been hyper aware of everything that can be taken as an innuendo, ha! I think since I have started reading romance I have definitely become more of a hopeless romantic. Fictional guys have ruined the real ones 😉

  30. Well… I’m not a huge fan of romance. It has to have something else with it. Plus, it can’t be too fast. I mean, sex in the first book? NOOOOOOOO.

  31. I’m not a big reader of romance (as the main plot) but I do like a little bit of romance here and there, in say like PNR’s or whatever. Once in awhile when I do feel like romance I gravitate to m/m 😀 I just can’t stand m/f romance for some reason! And I’m a perfectly straight girl, so I’m not sure why I think m/m is so much hotter and so much more interesting than the m/f romances. I just can’t handle the chicks in most m/f books I guess, most I find annoying.

    I’ve learned more than I thought I ever would too LOL I’ve ALWAYS had a dirty mind Sometimes me and my best friend joke “why can’t we be gay guys?!?” LOL