I’m thrilled to welcome Jaye Wells to the blog! The fourth Sabina Kane book is releasing later this month. I hope you enjoy today’s post and be sure to enter the giveaway for a chance to win a copy of Silver-Tongued Devil!
After several years as an editor and freelance writer, Jaye Wells finally decided to leave the facts behind and make up her own reality. Her overactive imagination and life-long fascination with the arcane and freakish blended nicely with this new career path. Her debut urban fantasy, Red-Headed Stepchild, comes out in April 2009, and is a blend of dark themes, grave stakes and wicked humor. Jaye lives in Texas with her saintly husband and devilish son.
By Giguhl, the Hairless Cat Mischief Demon
Mortals, can we have a chat? Every since I’ve begun starring in the so-called Sabina Kane series by that snarky bitch Jaye Wells, I’ve been inundated with gifts from adoring fans.
I hate to be ungrateful, but some of you are horrible gift-givers. Since it’s the holiday season, I decided my gift to all my adoring and sexy fans would be a list of guidelines. No, my doves, don’t thank me. I’m only thinking of you.The 5 Worst Gifts for a Demon
|5||Granny panties: I’ve received so many pairs of huge panties that I’ve had to create a large nest out of them upon which to lay my weary head every night. I love me some zaftig ladies, but your huge panties threaten to smother me in my sleep. Enough already.|
|4||Crucifixes: Really? I’m not 1980s Madonna, mortals. Papa will definitely preach if you send me anything bearing a cross.|
|3||Cat toys: Now you’re just being insulting.|
|2||Weeener Kleener Soap: This is not a very demon-friendly product, as it is not modified for … ahem… forked appendages. If you send me this, I’ll just give it to Adam Lazarus and then he’ll give me The Look and I’ll end up losing my adult channel privileges again. Nobody wants that.|
|1||A Dolly: Nothing scares the crap out of an unholy nether beast like the dead eyes of a creepy-assed doll. Like these. Warning: You may not escape with your soul intact! Do. Not. Want!|
|Now, if you want some ideas of what I’m really hankering for this year, here’s a few hints:|
|1||The World’s Largest Gummy Worm: For some reason this makes me uncomfortable, but gummy worms are effing delicious.|
|2||Pajama Jeans: I know they say they’re for women, but what male couldn’t use a little butt lifting while also enjoying the soft lining of these fashion sensations?|
|3||A Bedazzler: Confession—I plan to regift this to my good friend Pussy Willow so she can add some pizazz to her drag show costumes. She loves her some rhinestones.|
|4||A Potty Patch : Let’s face it, being a sidekick to a former-assassin magepire isn’t easy. Especially when she’s so busy off pursuing her destiny that she forgets that her best friend has a tiny bladders and needs his walkies. A potty patch would mean I don’t have to cross my paws until she gets home or—more likely–resort to pissing in her boots, which inevitably gets me grounded from the Temptation Channel.|
|5||Cold, Hard Cash: Hairless cat demon’s gotta get paid, son!|
As you can see, my wants are humble. Just think of the warm feeling you’ll get when you ensure that a poor, orphaned demon has a very special Chrishannakwazyulemadan. Cheers!
Jaye is giving away a print copy of Silver-Tongued Devil today on the blog! US-only. Please read my Giveaway Policy before entering. Fill-out the form at the bottom of this post to participate. Good luck!
About the Blogger
I review Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance books with a focus all things werewolf. Based out of Ottawa, Canada
Awesome post. 🙂 Pajama jeans, FTW! hehe.
LOL That was an awesome post 🙂 I wouldn’t turn down some pajama jeans either, just sayin….
Have a great day!
Love the gift idea dos and donts. I love the cat toy. had me cracking up laughing. thanks for the laugh this morning.
What a fun contest.
The book sounds great and would love to win and read.
Love the book cover on this one! And the story sounds fab too!
Thank you for the giveaway chance
Granny panties just made me laugh out loud 😀 Awesome post!
Monaliz @ Mind Reading?
@Amanda Bonilla – Nice! LOL
@Liz @ Fictional Candy – Very subtle. 😉
@Chrisbails – Agreed! Jaye did a fab job on this post.
@Gena – Good luck in the giveaway!
@Monaliz – Hehe yeah I liked that one so much that I had to turn it into a tweet.
lol I loved this post. I agree with everyone else in saying I want some pajama jeans
Fun post! Thanks for the warning on the worst gifts for a demon:) Thanks for the awesome giveaway and happy holidays!!!!
Great post! I wouldn’t mind some pajama jeans!They sound good to me!