Hi Amanda! Welcome to Rabid Reads! Amanda’s another debut author who’s first book is being published during the month of December and she was kind enough to make room for me on her tour (see full schedule). Be sure to read all the way to the bottom of this post for a chance to win your very own copy of Shaedes of Gray! Also, stay tuned for my review. It was a five star read for me!
Amanda Bonilla lives in rural Idaho with her husband and two kids. She’s a part-time pet wrangler, a full-time sun worshipper, and only goes out into the cold when coerced. She loves the outdoors, black clothes, pink appliances and thinks junk food should be a recognized food group. In the summer, she can be found sitting by the lake, enjoying the view from her dock.
We’re all thinking it, so let’s just get this one out of the way right now. Besides looking like something composed of every left-over in the refrigerator, Fruitcake looks like something you wouldn’t willingly eat unless a zombie apocalypse had made food sources so scarce that you had no other choice but to choke it down. I suppose there are some great fruitcake recipes out there as well as fruitcake lovers. But until a fruitcake comes along to change my perception of this holiday treat, I’m going to take a pass.
This is just my personal taste, because I know that tons of people LOVE this dish. But unless you’re stuffing a salmon, oyster stuffing has no place on a holiday table. Sure oysters are delicious, and oyster stew is pretty common holiday fare. But in my mind, oysters and turkey have no business fraternizing. If they wouldn’t hang out together while they’re alive, they shouldn’t hang out together on my plate. The only time land and sea animals belong together is when they’re accompanied by the words: Surf and Turf.
What is divinity, anyway? My grandma used to make a batch of fudge and a batch of divinity every year and I swear, none of the kids touched this fluffy white mystery candy. From what I can tell, it’s nothing but sugar, corn syrup, egg whites, and nuts. So I’m thinking it’s supposed to be some kind of meringue-type confection, but honestly, it doesn’t even really taste like anything. The name is as light and angelic as its appearance, though given the chance, I’ll take a plate of sinful fudge over this heavenly treat any day of the week.
Can somebody please explain this to me? I mean, what sort of evil mastermind invented this dish? In what universe is it okay to suspend chunks of carrots, olives, peas, or worse inside of gelatin? I can understand fruit and whipped cream. Jell-O is a dessert food, people. But once you’ve hidden green olives with pimentos inside that transparent casing, you’ve crossed the line. The following items should never—and I mean never—come in contact with Jell-O: beets, celery, carrots, soy sauce (seriously I found a recipe that actually calls for this), bean sprouts, onions, olives (we’ve been over this one), water chestnuts (yes, you heard me right), cabbage, cucumbers, and last but not least, cherry Coke.
Let me give you a quick rundown of the ingredients that make up a traditional mincemeat recipe: round steak, apples, apple cider, sugar, currants, raisins, candied fruit, ginger, cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon, salt, sour cherries. And did I mention ROUND STEAK? If that isn’t enough to turn your stomach let me fill you in on a little something: after you’ve diced everything up and cooked it, you have to leave it sitting in your refrigerator for a week before you put it in the pie. One. Week. Most of the leftovers that have been sitting in my fridge for a week are starting to grow an unidentifiable fuzz and are ready to be thrown in the trash. Never mind the fact that when you dig in to these (supposedly) savory fruity pies, you run the risk of chewing on something gristle-like. Nope. Not happening. Pass.
Okay, okay, since I don’t want you to have the sour taste of onion Jell-O salad lingering in your mouths, I’ll leave you with a few of my favorite holiday food items:
This stuff is de-li-cious! If you haven’t tried it, go out and buy some. You can thank me later. 😉
My mom makes the most scrumptious sugar cookies in the WORLD! I try to make sugar cookies every year and they never turn out as good as hers.
My mom also makes homemade Kahlua at Christmas. The perfect remedy for holiday stress!
Again, HUGE thanks to Carmel and Rabid Reads for hosting me today! What are some of your least favorite holiday treats? Your most favorite?
Amanda is giving away one copy of Shaedes of Gray to my followers. US/CA mailing addresses only. Please read my Giveaway Policy before entering.
Tomorrow’s stop: All Things Urban Fantasy
About the Blogger
I review Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance books with a focus all things werewolf. Based out of Ottawa, Canada
Thanks again for having me as a guest on your blog!! 🙂
I’m so with you on 4 of the 5 of those treats. I had divinity once back in elementary school and remembered liking it, but the others? Yuck!
What a cute post!
Great and fun post. My favorite part was “If they wouldn’t hang out together while they’re alive, they shouldn’t hang out together on my plate.” LOL
I read yesterday Shaedes of Grey and love it!
If fruitcake is made correctly it is very good. It’s the crap we buy in stores that doesn’t have rel fruit in it that is down right awful! A treat I can’t stand is ribbon candy. I don’t see the point. Thank you.
@Amanda Bonilla – Happy to do it! Your book rocks! 🙂
@Nisa – Is divinity a US-thing? I’ve never heard of it…
@BookaholicCat – That was my fav part too. I tried to quote Amanda on Twitter but couldn’t get it to fit.
@Victoria – Maybe you’re right. I don’t know anyone who makes fruit cake but homemade is usually better!
Happy Holidays and thank you for the Christmas blog tour!
A fellow Idahoan! Yes!
I love and adore Idaho, but mostly the Northern Panhandle. My most favorite place on the planet as I’m as I am a northwest girl to the core. I want to move back yesterday even though I’m in Alaska I miss it.
How you named the worst foods in existence for holiday foods..I think you were reading my mind. Never liked them…never even considered them an exception to any rule. Yuck and them some…LOL
My DH loves & adore the Southern Eggnog. And I’ll take the homemade Kahlua on the holidays for sure….*S*
Thank you for being a part of the tour that I have missed some of as of too much work…*S*
Wishing a Happy Holiday Season!
@Carmel: Divinity must be a US thing. @Nisa, It’s way too sweet, IMO. I think it’s an acquired taste. 😉
@Victoria: I’d love to try a good fruitcake. I’ve heard that homemade ones are awesome!
@BookaholicCat: Like I said, surf ‘n turf is the only exception! LOL
@Pommawolf Emeraldwolfeyes: Northern Idaho is gorgeous! I love it up there too! I haven’t actually had any Southern Comfort Eggnog yet. I need to remedy that, ASAP!
I’d have to agree with you on your picks of fruit cake, divinity, oyster stuffing-my mother in law made that for Thanksgiving, mincemeat pies, but I have to laugh at the jello with ufos inside that’s hilarious. Pineapple in jello is good. I love to bake cookies for Christmas.
luvfuzzzeeefaces at yahoo dot com
LOL! Love this, and agree with all your choices. I’ve had *one* fruitcake in my whole life that was good, and it was made by an older neighbor lady. The store cakes can only be used as door stops.
@Pommawolf Emeraldwolfeyes – Happy holidays!
@Julianne – I’ve never tried the jello thing but I’ve seen them. I think their look scares me…
@arteemus37 – Fruitcake door stops. Well said! LOL
Thanks for the giveaway! We make cookies and fudge. We don’t like fruitcake but we do make poor man’s cake! Happy Holidays!
Least favorite I will have to agree with fruitcake- tried it once and it was so nasty.
favorite by far is chocolate fudge or mints yum – my mom makes the best fudge.
I didn’t even know oysters could be used as stuffing. That’s just weird.
Favorite is sugar cookies.
Mmmmm holiday baking is yummy! I also love my mom’s stuffing, which she makes with meat. I have no idea what she puts in it, but our family gobbles up the stuffing and leaves the turkey!
Thanks for the giveaway!
darlenesbooknook at gmail dot com
I have to say no to fruitcake not my thing! I love stuffing one of my favorites! Happy New Year!
Thank you for the great giveaway!